Is there a pathway to deep and sustainable confidence?
Here are some milestones that will guide you on your journey.
Desire – The difference between people with confidence and those in a holding pattern of hesitation is having a burning reason to move towards a goal. Thinking of a “nice to have” is not enough. The outcome must become a dream supported by passion and repetition. If you declare it to others this will help make it concrete and much more likely to come about.
Belief – if belief is on one side of the scales then doubt is definitely on the other. The trick here is to “know what you know.” An exercise I have done with my children is to write out our manifesto and practice justifying it. When you stick to a position and articulate the defence of your principles, you will not only convince others, you will start to believe in them more deeply yourself.
Decision – the number on reason why people have a lack of self-confidence is their avoidance of the big decision. If you decide for something and, as “Rich Dad” says, “make it non-negotiable” then you release all your power and energy in the pursuit of what you desire. Decision, Direction, Destination and Destiny.
Action – Moving out of your (dis-)comfort zone is essential to confidence and it requires the courage to face the unknown. By taking the scary labels off the consequences you free yourself to act. Failure is a one time event not a life sentence you have to take around with you. Write down the 1,000 things you need to do in order to have the life you want, prioritise them, schedule them, ask for help and get on with doing them.
Persistence – A common behavior is to stumble and give up. The difference between success and failure, confidence and shyness is perseverance. Winners never stop and failures never start.
Improvement – You have taken the decision to act. You have declared it to your biggest fans and your harshest critics – Good for you. So, you act and…. get a disappointingly mediocre result. Now is the time to reflect, get to root cause and remount the horse. It is the Thomas Edison moment – Only 9,999 more light bulbs to test before you hit gold!
Rinse and Repeat – Life is about repeating what works and tweaking what doesn’t.
I wish you strength and know you will make the right decision for you.
Matthew Hill has a new DVD out now (£50) “Build Bold Confidence” Feel free to e mail for more details.