5 Must Do’s for Great Negotiators – That’s YOU!

How to get More from MORE!

In these times of competition where everyone seems to be providing the same products and services at the same price to the same people in the same way, you need to make a difference, be remarkable and stand out. The best way I know is to be an ETHICAL negotiator and they’re not too thick on the ground. Here are 5 ways to raise your game and get more of what YOU want.

1 Understand your Opponent

If you become distracted by their simple games or their displays of power and scarcity, then you will miss the cash on the table (and so will they.) When you dig beneath the drama, the mask and the bravado, you may uncover their primal emotional NEED. This is what makes them tick. If you can unravel their attempts to satisfy their basic instincts then you can give them what they want and both walk away content and whole.

2 Becoming the Resourceful

YOU Impersonating jelly wobbling on a plate or sweating like a guilty man at a trial is not the way forward. Feeling vulnerable though IS. I want to put a contradiction to you and see how you react. Become strong, calm and centred by finding your inner peace and strength. Remember back to your power moments, your victories and your many, many successes. Take the energy and confidence from those moments and wear it under your shirt like a shield. At the same time, do not be afraid to admit your weaknesses, mistakes and apprehensions. You will now appear authentic and have access to all of your thoughts emotions and powers. You need a structure in order to feel brave enough to achieve this. Please read on…

3 Ha Ha Harvard

Taking your open and honest stance from the paragraph above, the Harvard method works by dialling down the drama allowing the parties to concentrate on creative solutions that result in mutual gain. When you ask to share more power with a giant – many times they will acquiesce. If you ask you sometimes get. If you shake, you spill your coffee. Before and whilst you are sat at the table – think – what will THEY do if this fails and, what will YOU do? Building stronger alternatives makes you stronger. It reduces your need for “this deal” to work and the accompanying anxiety. Search into your contact base, experiences and knowledge bank to ask a simple question “What do I have that is easy to give and VALUABLE to receive?” This is the start of the Harvard Method’s High-Low Value Trading cycle.

4 The Never-ending story of Argument.

On the CD set I talk about 16 argument styles, how to use them and how to defend against them. My favourite is the contrast method of creating two amplified visions of the future – one of heaven and one of hell! When you plant a seed in the mind (I think of my opponent’s head as their cinema with me as the projectionist choosing the film!) I want to screen some Hitchcock scary thriller as the movie that represents not working with me and the Julia Roberts sugary romantic comedy as the more desirable alternative film.

5 Advance Level

The number one strategy for dealing with a challenging negotiation is to take the other person’s ego, pride and “face” out of the proceedings. Separate the negotiation from them personally so as to access their intellect, creativity and integrity rather than suffer from their defensiveness, or stroppy teenager behavior. My dream is to turn negotiation from something you dread into something you pursue with excitement and creativity… and for you to get more of what you WANT.

Feel free to leave a comment,

Thanks, Matthew Matthew.hill@hillnetworks.com

About matthew

Matthew Hill is a leadership author, coach and trainer with a passion for helping newly promoted managers become inner and outer leaders.
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